I've been feeling super anxious lately, and at the same time really vulnerable and starting to dip to the lower end of my spectrum. I can't concentrate for any length of time, which is impacting my work and my home life. I am still attending things I'm committed to, but I really don't want to be there; it's draining to put on the "I'm OK" show. My husband can tell something's starting to be a little off, but I don't really know what to say to him. I've told him I feel like I'm starting to feel lower. I get agitated easily, and have started quieting my kids all the time again - every noise they make is grating.

I want to just climb back into bed and stay there, to disappear, to release all responsibilities. Or to drive away and not look back. I hate the feelings running through me and am trying so hard not to turn those feelings which are part of the chemistry of this illness into thoughts that self-perpetuate and try to drag & hold me down. Ugh.