I told my T today that I didn't think she believed me and that I wished she didn't care. I have been trying to push her away and others that care too. [trigger] for three weeks now we have been talking about my severe suicidal ideation. [\trigger] Today she said she has been uncomfortable for awhile where I am at but today she was very uncomfortable. Mainly because I have come up with a new plan to get around our safety plan. She hasn't emergency petitioned me yet because I am supposed to start a DBT group tonight and she thinks that will be more helpful than the hospital. I have trouble asking for and accepting help and that is why I have been pushing everyone away. She said she is relentless though and not going anywhere.

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