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Old Feb 10, 2016, 08:39 PM
lemonzest lemonzest is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2010
Posts: 41
Some kind of manic behaviour WITHOUT being bipolar - sorry can't edit the title!

I am considering seeing my doctor. I am going through an unusual period over the last few weeks when I become focussed on something that I am angered by - it is not irritability at all - I regard myself, generally as quite positive in my mood - I don't feel like I get depressed to ever say that I'm depressed and I've actually rationalised that that is perhaps not as positive a thing as it might sound - in evolutionary medicine there is an idea (based on some research - sorry I don't have a link) that depression can be helpful to help motivate some people to take action to change their lives or their outlook in such a way that they remove or mitigate against depression - in the study those that suffered more severe depression (and I don't think it was crippling depression) tended to make more progress than the group of people who suffered much milder depression anyway, that's a digression. So, in looking for information on mania I am swamped with links about manic depression, i.e. bipolar disorder and I do not identify with that condition at all - I am not cycling between incredible highs and lows, I feel on an even keel - I am not irritable to be around or irritable however I have noticed that I sieze on things - usually issues of injustice - some large, some small and then throw my time into researching and contacting people to find out more e.g. the future of our local swimming pool - the facility is in decline (it is old and public finances are always short of cash) and there is no information about it's future even though meetings are being held by local government (borough and county council) groups - I seized on this after the sauna facilities were taken out of service - it seemed there was no information about what was happening and when or if it would be repaired, etc. I suppose I have to be honest and admit that I feel strange atm and wonder why I act on these feelings and the majority of people do nothing. I just have this energy, this desire to ask questions, get to the bottom of what is going on and I know I am quite a handful to deal with - I've read up on 2 years worth of minutes from council meetings in a few days, made numerous phone calls, wrote numerous emails. The pool is one current issue but there have been many other smaller issues that I have complained about - problems with junk postal mail, problems with treatment I have received on the health service - it seems that once something gets my attention for the wrong reasons I get myself involved and become very critical, verbally aggressive/combative/confrontational/undiplomatic but I am not ranting like a lunatic over trivialities - I question everything, find weaknesses and errors - but I do find myself mentally dismantling things, tearing things apart to get to a picture of what is really going on - I know at these times I am incredibly difficult to deal with. I do wonder what is going on with me and why. Obviously there is more context and detail to this but I don't go into it any more atm - I can add more if anyone is remotely interested or can contribute something to help me make more sense of my thinking and behaviour.
TIA
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