At times I am in the same boat. Its a very painful hopeless feeling to want your T to be your mom or fill an important role in your life. I feel for you. I also know what its like to write long emails and get a short response when you are hoping for more and you are struggling.

Something that has really helped me is really seeing the relationship I have with my T in a new perspective. I see her as a maternal figure. I told her this in my last session and she said that she is not my mom but I get pieces of it from her. I have internalized her as a maternal figure. I know we have a professional relationship and it feels really healthy. She is right, I do get maternal pieces from her and that makes me happy.

I know your T cares about you. It might help to talk about this with her. I was scared to death to mention it to my T but it really helped and I feel better about it.