I cried on the way home from my session today. We talked about the details and how I feel when I don't have time to tell T all of them. I also told her I felt bad this week because I wrote 2 long emails but she responded more briefly than usual. I said I feel like I'm a pest and I write too much. Her response was that it's not me. She just doesn't have the time because she works long hours and is tired when she comes home. She liked my emails this week, and even remembered some of what I wrote. I had written that no one can replace a mother. She agreed and said she can't be my mother, and no one is going to be there the way my Mom was. She was interested in hearing all the details. But she's not here now.

T asked more questions about my Mom and we talked about what I remember about her. She never got to know
her grandchildren. I never completely grieved for her.

Now I feel very unsettled. I don't seem to be attracted to T any more. I know she can't replace my mother but my brain doesn't seem to refect that knowledge. I'm falling asleep with my phone in my hand so I need to sleep now.