We tried reconciling for six years. This mistress did get in the way. I got my divorce certificate today. It feels like someone died. I must say I grew up when it came to splitting our finances. I kept in mind the saying I got from a divorce therapy group called "Divorce Care." In this group one of the quotes was that no matter how someone else acts you can answer them, but you always have to treat them with dignity and respect. You can say you can't handle talking, you don't have to be able to solve things. This idea worked better for our kids to not witness any more craziness, it made day to day interaction work, and it forced me to think and research what I wanted when splitting our assets. I send you my prayers that you manage to keep your love alive, and if not, I'll hold your hand and tell you that you are going to be okay.