Leonard Cohen. Nice quote. He wrote/sang: "Ring the bells that still can rind, forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, in everything, that's how the light gets in." For those of us with a "crack" (trauma), this reminds us that what we may see as a fault may be an opening. There is another quote from an anonymous source, Quaker I think: "Blessed be the brokenhearted, for in being so, they may open the heart of the Universe." Old time language, Christian, but kinda Buddhist too.

Dependency is something that depends on your beliefs--spiritual and cultural. Many if not most cultures and spiritual backgrounds see "interdependence" as normal, healthy, accepted and so on.

Westerners are kinda unusual in a belief that we are all supposed to be independent, individualistic, without needs, without feelings for others. Like a John Wayne character in an old movie.

Some therapies encourage "dependency" as a stage actively sought out to develop trust deeply, get to very core issues, work them through, regress even, but not stay there. Only a step, maybe a long process of steps.

I don't really get why people worry about dependency or say it is pathological. It can be, but it isn't bad on the face of it. It can be what is needed at the time. It can be painful and awkward and cause problems. So sure, concern about it is fine.

But anyone who just says it is flat out wrong doesn't understand that there is a process that sometimes requires some dependence. We are social primates. We need each other. We are hard-wired to connect, to depend. How could that be seen as anything but what humans do?