This realization that I'm an alcoholic has only served to make me feel more hopeless than ever. It will still be another 30 to 45 days until the 12 step program that i'm signed up for even begins. Meanwhile the cravings grow stronger and I grow weaker. I don't even know what I feel right now. just so alone and lost in this new pit. ( at least it's a new pit, instead of the same old pit) I know I need to go to AA but I'm scared to do it.