I am both excited and anxious about tomorrow's visit with two of our sons. The one that is schizophrenic and beat me up a few years ago will be there and this is bitter sweet for me. I love HIM I hate his DISEASE. I fear my step son and can't be alone with him and I know that my husband would never let him hurt me again. So the victim of his violence side of me is nervous as hell and the Mom side of me is excited to see him after not seeing him since June.