You can "what if" it forever, but it won't bring her back. I know you want answers and justice but that doesn't bring peace. Believe me, forgiveness is not for them or her, but for you. I've had to learn that just from my own personal experiences. Instead of justice, why don't you do something in memory of her. Maybe working a suicide hot line, or volunteering for a local mental health program, etc. There are so many programs and organizations out there that need volunteers and especially people that have personal experience with mental illness. I pray for peace for you. Hugs.