My T has always normalized my dependency. She says "if you've never felt seen, never felt heard, never felt loved and then you do of course you will want it!! You will want as much of it as you can get! That's a normal feeling, just like its normal for small children to go through an age where they cling to their caregivers. No one took care of you. Of course you want more. It's GOOD that you want more! It means your heart is open to love."

But she also emphasizes her own limitations and what she can and can't do. She gives me meditations or rituals to do when I feel overly needy. I also have several transitional objects I use for comfort. She emphasizes that the connection between us does not rely on physical proximity.

I do love her and she loves me also.

I don't understand when I hear "too dependent". If I or NY T feel I'm not coping well we try to explore what I do need in order to cope. I feel like Ts who say "too Dependant" are missing the whole point.

My T also laid out the "deal breakers" that could result in termination. Very small list. Physical violence, showing up at her house, making threats----things I could never imagine doing anyway ( I do know where she lives because its not far from the yoga studio where she teaches ). It was comforting to know where the limits are though.