I was dxed BP back in 2005 when I was eighteen after taking a small overdose at college. I was overwhelmed by the stress of college and couldn't handle it so I od'ed. I thought the doctor was out of his mind. As the year went on continued with very self destructive behavior but never - that I recall - got hypomania or mania. At the time I thought you had to be happy in one of those states and I never was. It all ended witch a suicide attempt and my first round of ECT treatment. After that I thought I was good to go. I addressed childhood trauma issues and thought myself cured.

Fast forward to 2013. I was hit with a lingering depression that cause me to hurt myself in a rage. It also cause me to throw things and yell at my husband. I thought maybe something is really wrong; I still don't think bipolar but maybe some sort of major depression or something. So I sought help. I had to wait three months for a psych appt.

What cinched it for me was during those three months I finally had a euphoric mania. I was laughing, singing, dancing. Getting lots of things done. One night I was doing dishes and my husband threatened to call my mom downstairs if I didn't slow down because I was almost breaking dishes. This made me realize maybe something was wrong, even though I just felt happy.

When I finally got into the dr she dxed bipolar immediately. Since then it's been changed from BP 2 to BP 1 due to the presence of psychosis and full on mania.