I totally agree with folks who said that it might help if you ask your T exactly what he means by 'dependent' -- describe specific behaviors, things said and so on.

And yeah, I tend to agree with what stopdog said about T's going on about either too little or too much dependence and never actually defining it -- it's frustrating.

And honestly, I'm more and more inclined to believe that an emphasis on talking about dependence or the lack of it (especially among those who emphasize the 'relationship' between T and client as well) is a bit of a power-play on their part (not terribly malicious or even very conscious but...).