Dear T,

If I really expressed myself as strongly as I wanted to in my earlier e-mail to you, I would've said

***** THE PROCESS. I must be a glutton for punishment... why else would I deliberately subject myself to a "process" of healing when half the time it feels like it might rip my heart right out of my chest in the "process".

Then again, I know I don't want to turn back now. Jeezus I hope you're for real when you say you're not going anywhere. When am I going to stop wondering when you're going to say you can't help me anymore? How many freakin' times does it take before I believe you for more than a day or two without a reminder? Gahh... How can healing hurt so good?