after reading about BP before diagnosis, it was hard to brush off weeks of waking up feeling like i was on blow

my mood is usually fairly flat and stagnant, so it was fairly obvious to me.

i was talking faster than i ever had, laughing uncontrollably, colors were vivid like i was smoking but felt euphoric like i was blowing. woke up like that. couldnt sleep/shut my mind off. emailed my therapist sexual comments. then went into a manic stupor one night, and then woke up that night with paranoid delusions.

that was 3 years ago

i knew based on my out of character behavior. very neurotic