Sorry this is happening right now, Rainbow. I completely relate to "oh my transference issues are going pretty well!" and then BOOM something happens and it all comes flooding back in.

I have a question about how other people don't want to know all the details. I do get that T's know ALL the details and are more interested than any one person IRL, usually. But I'm wondering if you could expand on your experience here. Are you talking about your H? Because, well, again, he seemed like a decent dude, but emotionally you and he weren't really on the same page.

Even so, I consider myself to have a strong marriage, and even my H doesn't always want all the details. He will listen if I tell him he is dismissing something I need him to hear, but there are some things I just don't go to him with. I don't think there's any one person in my life to whom I take everything -- it often gets divvied up among my friends and family. There are definitely times where I feel like I'm not able to go to someone I'd normally go to about certain things, so it's not like I never feel lonely, but I'm wondering about your experience here. Do you feel you can't spread it around among your friends? Is there something important about it being one person?

I know that doesn't really touch on the mom issue, and I think it's good that you're talking about grieving your mom in therapy. It seems like it's much-needed. I guess I'm wondering about the practical side of it, about trying to meet that need now. I think processing how it's been for you without your mom is going to be a more complicated thing than that, so I don't want to make it seem like I'm saying "just talk to your friends and you'll be fine!" Stuff about your mom is much deeper than that, I know. I am grateful to have my mom around while learning to be a mom myself, and I wish you'd had that, too.