Hello TryingToMoveForward: Thank you for sharing your struggle. I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that your sudden health problems will prove to be not serious.

I can certainly relate to what you wrote about blowing up at your kitty. I have a long history of doing similar things, unfortunately to my poor spouse as well as to the various dogs we have had over the years. Every time I do it, I berate myself afterward & swear I'll never to it again. But time passes, something happens, & I do it again.

It has been said that enlightenment is a journey... not a destination. And I was thinking this morning about how, hopefully, what is important is not so much that a person succeeds at becoming better but rather that they develop an awareness of the ways in which they fall short & keep striving to improve. At least I hope that is the case because that is about as much as I suspect I am capable of...