I see. Atat and lolgrace- you are probably right.

I'm having a lot of trouble with trust.
Maybe what's happening is past bad feelings (fear, confusion, anger) about two past damaging psychiatrists are mixing with current feelings/questions/uncertainty about T?

Trust is hard. I have only known T two years. I don't know her that well...to trust she won't do something that wouldn't be good for me.

I feel all mixed up.

I wrote PrevT and told her, "we will see tomorrow how well T tolerates mixed up me."

She wrote back:
"You are allowed to feel mixed up."

Which does help...to know being mixed up right now is understandable.