Pretty much insane by this point I think. Have sort of awakened from foetal position, mind-numbing, soul-crushing depression (sort of, but could easily return once my brain starts working rationally again). Have now entered a phase of acting like a complete idiot and throwing my feelings around, possibly fueled by medication and alcohol. It's quite funny in some ways, mostly bittersweet, and feels a bit scary. Or maybe this is just how life is and I'm not used to interacting with it. I feel a bit foolish and wide open. Wish I could delete all this.