Lunatic soul, I hope I understand a little about what you are saying. It is a dilemma that I recognise from therapy and other situations in life...to talk about sexual issues brings sex I to the room...the other person may well start thinking sexually, may be aroused, may think that the intention was to arouse or manipulate...
I guess that starting a discussion with those fears first might be helpful? Also, to acknowledge that that erotic feeling may be in the room, but no one need act on it in any way, feels at least an honest way to work. I do feel that I understand the fear of always being viewed as a sexual object, and that's not the same as thinking that everyone finds me attractive...for me, personally, i think that it's something I do to people, but hopefully I'm starting, slowly, to see something different.

I hope you can work this out with your T.