I do think therapy mostly causes more problems than it solves. People who buy into it of course believe it helps but that usually falls apart in the end.

I do understand that you see this as a truism for yourself, but I will state honestly that it hasn't been true for me. I'm quite a bit older than many on this board and although I've often, over the years, had rough times in therapy (with therapists I respected), when things have cooled down and I've been able to look at things through a less emotional lens, I've realized that my reaction was due to my own issues. Those situations have been learning experiences for me and I have grown by leaps and bounds, something that wasn't possible when I was young because of my childhood. In a sense, therapy has helped me grow up. I realize this isn't everyone's experience and I am only saying what I said above because I think it's important not to discount what happened to you but also it's important not to discount my personal experience. Yes, I "buy into" therapy, but that's because for me it has personally been a helpful and supportive endeavor. And since I've had three very good therapists, I don't see things "falling apart in the end". Why? Because that hasn't been my experience over the years.

This thread has gotten confusing. Therapy is a business? We're supposed to "shop" around for a therapist like a business transaction and yet it's supposed to be "personal" and a "relationship?"

This is perhaps were the difference is on how some people view therapy and how I personally view my therapy experience. I agree that therapy is a business--I pay someone to assist me with personal issues that I have in living my life. But I am under no illusion that my therapist is my best friend, lover, family member or a person, who if I wasn't engaged with her in a financial arrangement, would continue to meet with me on a weekly basis. I definitely believe and practice finding a therapist as a "shop"ping adventure. I've interviewed MANY MANY therapists in my search for someone I want to work with, and I've even picked one or two, gone for sessions and decided that I'd picked wrong one and stopped going.

I view therapy as "personal" in regard to its impact on me, and only me. It's personal because I go in and talk about personal and/or intimate topics that pertain to my life. I have absolutely no expectation of the therapist sharing their personal information; in fact, I have eliminated therapists as a possibility of being my therapist because they overshared or talked too much about themselves. I'm not in the least interested in knowing anything personal about the person I'm working with--other than what's her training level, is she in my age cohort (not interested in working with someone who hasn't experienced many of the things "older" adults deal with), how many years of experience they have, have they successfully worked with clients similar to my issues and is he/she willing to gracefully and nondefensively take constructive feedback from me (in other words, do they own their own stuff). In no way do I believe or think that my IRL relationships will be conducted in the same way. My IRL relationships are much more a two way street.

I think that some individuals go into therapy and think that the therapist is going to act like their best friend or parent. Sometimes, with a skilled and well-trained therapist, this focus can be worked through. However, I think that some therapists encourage and foster this kind of thinking and then get in over their heads and run for the hills, harming clients in a very painful manner.

I think therapy is really just not good for most people, but if someone thinks they must have it then there isn't much you can do to talk them out of it. In the case of the op the whole concept seems to cause an immense amount of distress. Not sure it's the best thing in this case.