T,

I looked at your Facebook again. You have a new photo. It's of you and your baby-girl and I guess it was taken during your holiday last summer. You look so happy and beautiful. I got so so sad. I don't know how that is. I feel so unbelievable bad right now. I haven't felt like this in months. It hurts. It hurts so bad. I don't want to lose you.
5 months! You know how long 5 months is? For you it's probably short, but for me. 5 long months with a new T. And then what, back to you? 5 months is so many feelings, so many bad moments, so many situations.
Maybe it's just better if I don't go back to you. Look at what a mess I am now. I've to say goodbye in less than 2 months. And then, if I start seeing you again, I'll have to say goodbye a second time. Maybe it would be less hard if I was feeling mentally better.

I can't do this. I don't want to do this. I've been crying the whole evening.