oh gosh jannie that's awful! didn't know your therapist had any serious health issues. and if they didn't all the more unexpected and shocking!!

there's no right way to process grief....especially such sudden grief that appears w/o warning.

crying might seem scary right now but perhaps it is a good release of so much inside? am glad you got medical attention for your SI.

what you describe wanting to do--hiding in bed w/ covers up--sounds perfectly normal after a huge loss.

sorry for your loss and please try to have some compassion for yourself while you go through the stages of grief.

((jannie))