I didn't do a great job of explaining how I feel. When I said the depression lifted with Prozac I mean the severe apathetic/anhedonic/dissociated feelings & intrusive suicidal ideation improved significantly. I stopped self harming & threw away my means for suicide.

I still have what I might describe as an agitated depression, or simply lingering depressive symptoms & really bad anxiety? I don't know, neither does my pdoc. I do still have urges to self harm & do still have some suicidal ideation. I want to give up but I'm not serious about giving up like I was when I was really depressed.

I keep asking for a referral for CBT but pdoc keeps saying we need to stabilise mood & behaviour first before its of much benefit. I might even benefit more from DBT?