If this guy is your only link to hope right now, keep seeing him. Know that Hopelessness and helplessness breed in isolation. We cannot heal in isolation. if by chance you are in isolation, that is all the more reason to keep seeing your t.

For potential encouragement, let me tell you about me. I was in a similar boat as you. Never thought true happiness would be possible since a very young age. I'm in my mid-40's now. A year and a half ago I hit my all time life low. Took me a year to get out of that hell. i still can't believe I survived it. My t was my life boat. Like your t, my t was the only one who gave me hope. I clung onto to her tight even though I felt like a huge burden to her. My t helped me to remain curious enough to keep trying. And she wouldn't let me isolate her out like I so wanted to do. It was a long, hard road but the hell if it didn't work. Not only am I ok now, I am actually doing pretty good. Some days super good. I can even see true happiness in my future!

Remain curious. Always. Let your t help you and guide you out of this darkness if that is what your soul needs. you deserve to be happy.