i am posting a similar one i had in the drug forum but wanted to write out what is going on here because i am not sure what i am having is anxiety attacks or panic attacks ..
i am returning to a position i held about 5 years ago ... i left then because of an extremly hurtful event that devastated me - after leaving i fell into a major depression and was hospitalized several times - i have been through therapy and a unending list of anti depressants all which had no effect - along with anti psychotics. i had to end treatment last november suddenly due to finances .. i ended al medications about 9 months ago .. since then i have been taking vitamins ... my depression actually got better..however i have recently been having alot of anxiety and unable to concentrate well because of racing fearful thoughts that come and go throughout the day ..anyway .. i was recently within the last 2 weeks asked to return to my position ..being that i have been isolated from everyone except family members for the past 5 years and because i am feeling better depression wise i thought it would be a good thing to do .. i had my first meeting with my boss over lunch last week ... from the time i saw her i was inwardly overwhelmed with intense feelings ..and after about an hour into lunch i was completly overwhelmed inside ..could hardly concentrate on what she was saying i know i dissociated while sitting there listening .. i dont think she noticed ..which is ok with me .. after our lunch i came home ... i was so keyed up ..my insides were haywire .. my food would not digest at all - it took till the next day to feel like it finally went down. .my husband noticed all this and said Are you sure you are ready for this? all i know is that i loved what i did -- i loved my work so much (up until the time i was so hurt) and i do want it back - i do want to go and be productive again. the problem is i start at the end of the week .. i have no medicine to help me calm down .. i do have an appt with my pdoc late september and with t - but i dont know what to do until then. i dont know whether this is anxiety attack or panic .? i want the job back so much i said yes before thinking this through ... wondering if i should not go now . . my pdoc has told me before i would never be able to work again and wanted me to get disability but i want to go back so bad!