Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
I take it this is your husband's cultural background? And you married him and by virtue married knowing these are his cultural expectations?
My adult nephew has a girlfriend, they are expecting a child. Met her a couple of years ago when I was registering my kids into their current district. Met the girlfriend who made a remark that Noway...NoHow was she having anything to do with even Trying to learn his other language, the one used in my childrens paternal family. It didn't sit well with me, her saying that. I did find that insulting. I am nowhere near fluent, i know a little, not because of having children that are relatives, but just because. I can go to a store and ask how much, if necessary and I've been told I've a lovely accent, very proper actually for what little i speak. It shows respect for others when trying.
In family settings its cheek kissing one side and hugs. If i went to europe itd be the same or if i traveled through latin america the same...
What about it scares you? What's the mental block? Your discomfort isn't wrong, however...
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I can understand how you feel. Some people aren't good with learning other languages though. I tried to learn my husbands lanuage, and trust me, it's very hard! I tried to speak a few words in his language, but I could never be fluent in it! It's much harder than Spanish and French for sure, and I never got past a certain point in school after trying to learn it.
So I did make an effort to learn it and speak it. I still got rejected and judged, ugh! So I gave up. Why try to please other people who won't even have the decency to try to talk to me in English when most of them speak it so well? It's truly insulting to me. If the situation was reversed, I'd try to talk to them in English!
Also, I have never liked hugging that much. Let alone kissing. Especially with strangers. Yuck! I worry about bad breath, and to me, to be that intimate with a stranger is just weird IMHO. I wouldn't go to Europe and expect them to act like an American, so why would foreigners come here and expect us to act like them? Does that make any sense? I hear what you're saying though.