So often different cultures that come together in marriage expect the other one to change.....maybe that's why many times it's suggested that different cultures don't marry because of the difficulties like this that it causes.

If you didn't like being a part of that culture why did you marry into it in the first place.....all aspects of a person we need to take into account before taking a relationship into marriage.

Actually this is NOT necessary to be scarred for life. It's a known fact that the neuropathways that have been developed through bad coping skills & bad experiences growing up, CAN BE reprogrammed, just as new skills can be learned by someone after having a stroke or a traumatic Brain injury. It just takes work at reprogramming the thinking & replacing it with functional thinking.

Personally, I HOLD my MORAL values & no one will EVER change those as they are something that I value beyond everything else. Beliefs that I hold as truth, no one will EVER change that, but getting along with people in other ways, I will tend to adapt. If I don't feel comfortable around certain people.....I won't go anywhere around them....but the choice is OURS.

If you don't like the people your H is around, there is nothing that says you have to associate with them & if your H wants to give you a hard time, you can always tell him where to go as he seems to be good at telling you what you should & shouldn't do.

You know lots of people have been married for a long time....but it doesn't make it a functional marriage when there is so much dysfunction involved. My parents were married for over 45 years & they were totally dysfunctional....& I lived with a dysfunctional H for over 33 years until I finally had enough & was willing to walk out because I could no longer tolerate the life I was living......we all have to make decisions at one level or another.