Oh Jannie this is just horrifying news! Would you like to share what your T was like with us? Perhaps any special memories or moments you had together? You know, for a long time I thought there was something the matter with me because I became so attached to my T over time but now, thanks to this website I now know, this attachment is a GOOD thing. Our relationship with T is special in so many ways. The loss of that is so so very heartbreaking. Why not write a letter to him that says every last thing you want or need to say to him but did not get a chance to? All the feelings or memories or anything you wish to put into it? You could post it here if you liked. Just keep talking about it with us or anyone you trust. (((((((((Jannie)))))))