I am just done. I am just fed up. I am tired. I am tired of the lies. I want something to happen. Medical professionals aren't listening to me. I feel alone.

17 months ago is when the hell started. I went through months of pain that turned into Chronic pain, something that wasn't understood. I was told it would get better. Never did. All lies.

I had a 2.7cm cyst on my right ovary rupture in September 2014. I went to the hospital which they told me about it then was sent home with pain killers. They refused to operate on me to get the blood and fluid out of me from the rupture. I was on bed rest for 3 weeks, I was sick, in sever pain, pain killers never helped. I complained to doctors for months. I was told it would get better. Ultrasound about 3 months after showed blood in my right ovary but a small amount. Not sure that you know, having blood left inside of you, causes pain to organs nearby, it's like toxic as to what I was told. I saw my OB after her telling me about the left over fluid inside my ovary. I had a follow-up with her a few months after.

(before all this, I have normal period. I enjoyed having my periods. No issues at all.)

During the months after the rupture, my periods were different. I was in sever pain for 3 weeks out of the month, I was passing blood clots and bleeding a lot. I started to feel better after the bleeding stopped, then the cycle would continue. Sitting for long periods of time hurt, walking hurt, everything I did hurt. The pain would come up out of nowhere, I wanted to scream and cry. I tried to cope. I was done.

In the spring of 2015, I saw my OB and she gave me this medication called Lupron which are injections which puts you into menopause. I was also diagnosed with a disease called Endometriosis. I was told the injections would re-set everything (my periods) and usually there is a high percentage of women who go on the treatment for 6 months have success after. After 4 months on the injections the bleeding stopped, the pain stopped. I felt normal. It was hell, 2 weeks after the first injection the hormonal levels increased to the point I thought everything was funny, then they fell and hitting my finger on the wall it was the end of the world where I would cry for hours over it. It was honestly the terriblest time for me.

I was on the injections for 6 months before I could no longer afford them. I saw my OB again which I complained to her that the injections weren't working and requested a laparoscopy to be done. She didn't know what was going on, so I was referred to a specialist which could take up to two years to even see.

After I couldn't afford the injections after the 3 months not being on them, I went out of menopause which was hard. I had cyst ruptured and the hospital didn't do anything. I screamed at them. That Monday I had an appointment at the Pain Clinic for a doctor who I was referred to who does laparoscopy surgery for Endometriosis. I explained everything to her, then asked for the surgery. She told me she won't do it, instead handed me new medication, hormonal therapy that treats Endometriosis but these are pills which are much weaker that Lupron injections. I've been on them for over 2 weeks now, I have horrible hormonal things happening to me. She gave them to me because its a much more affordable treatment. They are $80 (without coverage) apposed to the $420 for the single injection for the month. I was livid. I am still livid.
(I don't have health coverage, I did but I don't anymore, as to how I was able to get the injections where I would continue on the treatment still, OB gave me prescription of 1 year)

Since the cyst rupturing (January 22) there hasn't been a day where I've been pain free and not bleeding (spotting and passing clots) and I am considered "crazy" and no one wants to help me. They think it will fix itself on its own. No, if the injections worked this wouldn't be still happening, but it never did. I am sick and tired of the pelvis exams, the transvaginal ultrasounds, nothing they do will make them operate, cut 2-3 small cuts and stick cameras in me to look. Not like they are slicing me open. They told me I would be left with scaring tissues, I am sorry but Endometriosis is scaring tissues so what would be the difference? I've even asked and demanded for a Oopheroectomy and they gave me the excuse of, you are young and healthy, you don't want to go through menopause. Again, been through menopause and the new treatment they gave me, does that.

Since all of this, I've been handed pain killers and hormonal therapies. I am abusing my pain killers now because pelvic pain scares me (I have a fear of pelvic pain) and seeing the spotting blood and clots (again I have a fear of it) and I can't deal with this anymore. I've overdosed so many times and I've done nothing about it. The hospital won't take me seriously. The Pain Clinic never returned my phone call.

I spoke to Patient Advocacy about this, which they are suppose to talk to this doctor but haven't heard anything yet. My counselor is even advocating for me, because it's affecting my life. It's affecting every aspect of my life and no one gets that, they just hand me pain killers and hormonal therapy in hopes it will fit the problem.

Abusing my pain killers and now drinking. I can't do this anymore. No one is listening. I am alone. I can't deal with this. I don't know what to do... I don't know what I need. I am young (22) and thus they think since I am young and otherwise healthy they won't do the procedure. I am at a loss. I feel alone. It's not fair. I don't know what else to do anymore. I am alone. I am suffering alone. No one cares to help me, I don't matter. Suffering in pain alone.