Me and my younger sister rarely talk anymore. I went over my dads and saw she was in her room. So me, being happy and upbeat on my vyvanse, decided a nice heart to heart was passed due. We talked about boys and girly things, then we talked about what she wanted to be. Where she was going with her college studies and psychology came up. I said "so how do you see me and my bipolar and other issues?" She said she didn't know because she didn't fully understand what's going on in my head or really get bipolar. I said "ask away!" I was pretty excited actually. She asked why I do the things I do, make the bad decisions I make, and get hurt so easily. For an example i focused on my anxiety issues and work. How I'm emotionally wiped out by the job and the way I'm treated there. Then the tears came. I got a blank stare. She said "what makes your job so damn hard where you get this upset?" I tried to explain the long hours, the demanding doctor, the girls that treat me like garbage, and how this triggers my anxiety. She seemed totally unable to understand. Blank stare. Nothing. Then "so why are these things bothering you so much?" I tried to explain that it's the nature of the anxiety, the obsessive worry every morning before work, and the lack of proper rest that magnifies my anxiety, bipolar and everything else.

Blank stare. More tears. Then I put my coat on and went home to cry more, regretting the whole freaking convo.

Trileptal 600mg BID
Buspar 45mg
Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvanse 70mg
Risperdal 4-6mg PRN

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