Today I hate myself for being one of those people who needs, desperately, to be told what to do and think, who has no original thoughts and does it wrong if they try to have any.

Now that that's out of my system: I've been fairly numb these past few days, except for 10 minutes or so each day when I cry like crazy. The fact the my body's falling apart probably isn't helping my mood. I can't seem to want to do anything. Too busy self-hating or distracting myself.

Sometimes I just get fed up with living.