I'm inspired by your story, the devotion you obviously have for your SO is amazing. Just amazing.

I feel like I'm going to sound ridiculous in what I'm going to say but I can't really describe it another way. I have no doubt in MY mind that this girl is the one I was meant to find - she is so much like me, she makes me feel wanted and loved and happy and all those other emotions that are too many to list out if I had a million pages of paper. Just thinking of her can improve my mood instantly. I dream about her. I think of her all day long - she's the most amazing person I've ever had the privilege to meet. I'm comfortable saying I'm starting to love this girl. It's not a simple "crush" or infatuation.

With that being said, I love my parents. They've been good to me and I know they want the best for me, but I am having a hard time not hating them for what they're doing. I'm struggling with the idea that if they truly wanted the best for me, they'd be happy I found someone who makes me feel this good, and they'd let me pursue this girl and if it ended for whatever reason, it would be on me and I'd learn from it and take away a good life experience. THAT is what I think my parents should see this as, but instead they call her "white trash" and "pedophile". It is simply not fair to me, but I am at a point in my life where whether I like it or not I NEED my parents to survive in the world, even though I am nearly 18. That's why I am so torn about this entire scenario. I can't afford to lose that support, like my older sister did. And I don't WANT to lose my connection to my parents, I do love them. But I also love Katie and it's tearing me apart inside because I don't know what to do.

The thought of losing Katie terrifies me. I feel like if I lose her I will never be able to open up to someone again like I have with her, or that I'd never WANT to because my heart would always lie with her. I realize that's probably coming across as extreme but for me that is a legitimate fear. I don't trust easy.

I hope that kind of made sense, I could sit here and type a book about how I feel and why I think Katie is the person I'm meant to be with, and I still wouldn't feel like I'd explained myself well enough.