I understand the shame and disappointment, sort of. I'm been feeling closer to my T too, but I wonder if that's okay or not. I want to hold her hand again, but it's been awhile, and I don't have a reason to ask except that it feels good, which seems a little bit shameful. But I'll probably ask her anyway.

Do you know what you are afraid of? Is it that your T won't like you or will reject you if she knows that you dream about her touching you? Is there any touch in your therapy?