Lately my T has been commenting on whether I'm present in the session or not. Last week she said the way I was sitting looked like I wasn't present. I was kind of slouching but I think I always sit like that. She had me sit up and make sure my feet were on the floor.

The week before when I was going on about my week, she said it seemed like I wasn't present, and if I'm not present, I don't feel connected to her. She wanted me to look around the room, then at her, and tell her how I feel.

I like to feel connected to her but at the same time, her commenting on my being present or not, makes me feel afraid, like I want to hide from her. Every session she asks me if she's sitting where I want her to be. Is her chair too close or too far.

I don't think I dissociate but I sort of check out and avoid eye contact sometimes. I feel very close to my T now, so I'm not sure why I still do this. Why can't I stay totally present with her? I can be present when I'm talking with her about hard stuff but when she wants me to look at her and asks how I feel, I get scared. I think the intimacy is what makes me panic.

Does anyone else's T concentrate on your being in the present with them?