It's been 3 weeks since we are in separate rooms.

I feel much better because I am avoiding the anxiety, panic attacks, and crying fits from trying to have sex.

He is trying to be a better husband, only because he is 'in the dog house'. Yesterday, he suggested we go to an art show. It was a really nice day with our son. If only he had done that every so often... And I know if I take him back, life goes right back to usual, with him being completely withdrawn and self-centered.

I wanted, needed some assertiveness from him. Especially sexually. He still just won't. Today's Valentine's Day. Holidays have been such hell, I told him to just ignore them from now on. But I bought candy for him and our son. He said he made a reservation to take us all to dinner, and I said that was nice.

This morning I gave him a big hug when he woke up. We spent a few hours watching TV. I went into my room and thought about fantasizing about how I want sex to be and doing it by myself. But my stomach is in knots and my digestion problems are flared up. That's also part of the sex problem.

When I went into the kitchen, he was still watching TV. He never shuts it off. Another problem. He gives me a weird stare that makes my panic attack start. Then shows me he put a gift for me on the counter. I said Oh, but didn't open it.