Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneTennison1
She doesn't instruct or tell me what to do, it would never end well if she did. My T and I are both aware that she is not my saviour but that I am the only one who can and will save myself. However talking it through, gathering some coping ideas, exploring it all may be useful in my journey.
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I guess I consider talking it through and gathering ideas to be a form of instruction. But I'm glad your T doesn't
tell you what to do. I agree that wouldn't end well. I'm glad my T rarely/never does this. I admit there are times in my life where I'm extra, super agreeable (or hopelessly lost) and would jump off a bridge if the right person told me to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
My therapist is helpful in that she understands a particular subject area related to what I'm going through in current day life, as well as how it triggers flashbacks. I think the only thing she has provided instruction on is something every other adult I've met already knows how to do. I didn't ask for instruction on it, but I didn't mind when she started explaining.
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Glad you didn't mind--and glad she understands! I completely relate to the 'every other adult' knows how to do thing. I sometimes feel I missed the symposium where everybody else learned common sense. Like my invitation got lost in the mail and now I don't know how to address an envelope! I can, of course, always do my own research and learn independently, but it is sort of nice having someone around who will take 2.7 seconds to explain how to adult if it comes up in session.
Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella
My therapists seemed to fancy themselves as life masters, but were legends in their own minds. I occasionally have to suffer the obnoxiousness of a therapist who belongs to a local group with me. She gives stationery store-worthy advice like she fancies herself a mountaintop oracle. She reviews her own work, believing herself effortlessly brilliant. She crosses the room to say something bossy and diminishing. She's one of the most socially pathetic, narcissistic human beings I've had the misfortune to know.
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I've had teachers like that. Least favorite kind of people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Walkedthatroad
Thank you for this thread. I had the same attitudes and beliefs as you have stated, and I feel therapy was successful in my life. The after affects continue to propel me into a better life than before. I spent so much of my life reacting to everything, waiting for the next wrong do Ain't could justify position, justify myself. I was on call 24/7, and go into a depression just to get non-restful sleep, only to wake up and start the process over. My life sucked!
I'm kind of at a loss to understand when people say this is infantalizing. I learn new things or forgotten information brought to mind by people of all ages, and backgrounds. But it was only with my therapist that I was willing to reveal all my secrets, my doubts, etc, so she had more of a complete picture of who I was and where I wanted to get. So what you point out in your thread makes perfect sense to me.
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Thank you for this reply! Glad therapy has made your life suck less. Mine too!
I think I can sort of see why people feel it's infantilizing. I think instruction/advice of any sort has the
potential to be infantilizing (though I've certainly never thought it
inherently so). I'd probably feel differently if I'd experienced a lot of patronizing advice or the kind of teachers/therapists missbella describes. That might make me prickly to
all advice/instruction. As it is, I've been very lucky to have many good teachers (of all sorts, not just those who work in schools) and to have always enjoyed learning of all sorts.
I might also feel differently if I were older/more experienced/less incompetent!
Anyway, thanks for your reply!
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I would think that it is possible to learn something from therapy - which to me is very very different from whether a therapist instructs a client.
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Good point. I'm using the word 'instruction' very loosely here, I think. Looser than I probably should. I'll think about some more precise vocabulary.