Meg.....didn't mean to get off topic on your post.....actually, it might not be as off topic as it might sound in some ways.....it is just about how people don't deal with ADHD/ADD husbands over the years when it isn't being treated. We get to a point where it can't be tolerated anymore. It is a personal thing & it seems that we all come to that point when it is right for us.

As for the throwing things, I don't have ADD or ADHD & I have been known to throw & break even things that I can't replace.....but this only happens when my frustration lever go so high it explodes into that. Your husband may be frustrated with feeling trapped with the ADHD symptomes that he can't seem to control. That may be the frustration you are seeing in the anger of throwing things. No matter what the reason however, it needs to be controlled. I had to figure out what I needed to do to conrol my frustration level....once I was successful with that, the throwing stopped. He needs to do the same.....even if a therapist is needed to help.

Biiv,
Yes, I will be glad to adopt you & of course, sharing with real mom is important....wonderful you feel that way towards your Mom.....she definitely needs support while trying to figure out such a huge move. I have to figure out everything on my own with no one to chat it over with. My daughter has her own set of problems she is dealing with, & my Mother died 2 1/2 years ago......being an only child.....there is really no one to talk about these things with. My poor therapist gets dumped on everyweek. My husband is there too, so he hears what I have to say & I don't hold back anymore.....found it wasn't worth it. My psychologist is amazed at how I tell it like it is!!!!! I am so tired of beating around the bush & trying to be politically correct so I don't hurt anyone. Things have to be said & they have to be straight forward so there isn't any misunderstandings. I don't want to leave with anyone guessing as to why.

Take care of your Mom & let her know that it is ok to leave after a long time.....it is actually a wonderful feeling having the independence that comes with getting out of a long term miserable situation (even when it isn't all bad).

Debbie