Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauliza
These subtler types of abandonment some people feel isn't written into the codes, unless there was a boundary violation of some kind. Otherwise, many of these situations can be explained as misinterpretation. It's much like a break up, really, with both people having very different versions of the same event. One one will inevitably claim to have been misunderstood - they never explicitly said the things the other person claims they did. Therapy is so often left open to interpretation that I do think some therapists have idea what impact they are on a client until it's too late. At that point, they may feel they can no longer provide adequate care (which is probably true) and that is a common basis for termination.
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So that's it? The T can set off a bomb in the person's life and then exit because they are in over their head? That is exactly what my T did. No consequences, just adios. Ethics codes are really liability documents intended to protect Ts.
If the client feels abandoned or exploited or used, they
were. My T tried to interpret the experience for me, insisting that it was good for me, when clearly it had wrecked me. That itself is abusive and exploitive. If you want to know the real outcome, ask the client not the T.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauliza
I'm not saying this is the right thing to do, just how it seems to play out. In my opinion, I think someone with attachment/abandonment issues may do well with structured, goal oriented therapy, because even though there is definitely a relationship, warmth and empathy there, it is still kept professional, with goals to work toward. I think this just makes it harder to create a dynamic of dependence, since the nature of the work is strengths based.
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Or maybe people with attachment/abandonment issues should stay far away from therapy. Forming an uncertain and ambiguous and tenuous attachment to a stranger, fiddling with maternal/paternal deficits from infancy, playing with intense longings in the make-believe world of therapy… it now seems totally nuts to me. It is not that hard to evoke and incite such longings. Then what?