Ok so I'm rapid cycling type 2 bipolar, have ADHD, PTSD and a brain injury oh and am a chronic pain sufferer. Most days I get by okish with meds and generally keeping myself as active as my pain can allow. Despite the brain injury I am highly functioning mentally and not err slow or what ever the word is just have a poor memory these days. More and more as I delve deeper into the world of educating myself the hardship starts. I might miss a day here cause I can't walk or a day there because of anxiety or some other thing. Individually they aren't enough to shake me but as time progresses and the work load increases and gets harder the black dog of depression pops up and life grinds to a halt. I feel trapped in a sea of endless physical and emotional pain and it seems the harder I struggle the only thing that happens is depression turns to sever depression and the the whole self harm Suicide thought crap pops up. I've been hospitalised for depression like 10 times now and I.. I just don't know what to do I want to be happy and normal like all my friends but man the amount of stuff I gotta carry with me all day every day makes that seem like an impossibility not too sure if this was the right forum felt appropriate