I recently washed my hands with toothpaste to try to get burning habanero pepper oil off, after making salsa - so that made me giggle.
Yes I've got major & minor memory problem history. I'm sorry you've got it too, but glad you can make some light of it. Sometimes can only laugh.
I'm 42 now, but was treated for add for years. Somehow, I've really improved. I'm off the adderall now for almost a year & have much better memory. Pdoc & t said that time on the med & therapy helped me get more organized & retrain my brain. I'm still somewhat spacey but way better. So I just want to say it could be possible for you too. I did not think the attention and memory proba would ever improve.
I have another problem where sometimes big gaps of memory have been lost, remembered years later. That's such a bad disorienting feeling. That has happened over the years. So that ones really hard having no idea what else I might be forgetting! Oh gosh just gotta laugh sometimes. Hugs