This has been a heavy weekend!

Had lunch with my mom yesterday. It felt like such a vacuum there. Things that needed to be said, but shouldn't be said. So much heaviness that has no words. I dare not ask her. She was so good at showing me how defiant and disrespectful I was growing up. I felt much compassion for her. Tears behind my eyes.

I feel very comfortable here sharing my feelings. I want to say thank you for you have shared your thoughts with me on my other threads. This again, is new to me, but it is such a comfort. I would like to share with you that I do know that God has been with me through my life. I have known Him from the beginning. He has given me comfort and courage to start this healing and I trust him. I just wanted to say that.

Thank you for who you are. For replying to my posts. Ya know, there are those who are close to you, and you try and explain what you are feeling. You see, for me anyway, the confusion on their face and they say that they understand. In my heart, the tears are behind my eyes and I'm thinking....you really don't understand and I'm trying so hard to find someone who does.

I think, in my heart, here is the place that someone does.

I hope everyone has a good night.

Thank you for your online friendship.