I have memories of the trauma. It gets to the " bad place" and the TV turns off. I have not memory of what happens past that point.

This hurts because I've only shared it with my counselor.. "What happened to me?" "Did that happen to me?" I don't know. Something tells me it did. But I don't know. Don't know what to do with that!!

It might be easier to realize that you were abused if you saw the whole thing instead of the prelude to it and the TV going off. Dissociation has its benefits in the moments. Not so good after the fact.

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