My life outside of my teenage box wasn't good, I just got seddled in with my new T,..my paranoia has increased,..as well as my depression and social anxiety. Nightly I cry,..then theres days of blankness..where no years flow...only thoughts...

What I'm about to tell you was just told to my therapist...I'm afraid she won't get back...I need her so bad..I wonna a hug...I wonna not be afraid to cry infront of others.....

Today was wednesday...and thats how my therapist wanted me to see it as...we talkled alot about living in the moment....I'm not sure why...but she has reason...

So..first thing I thought of was my T....her voice....her...I got up and thought strong....went on the bus..and the journey began...this is my LAST year of school...so first thoughts are ...this will be easy...but already knwing we have a new schedule,principal,staff,...and students makes it a bit more easier to say its gonna be hell.

But being me I remembered my T,...sometimes I would cry ...cause she wasn't there,...I wanted a hug so many times...

I got there anyway and my schedule was totally..messed up...and this year you can't sign up for a talk with the guidance counselor rather only hope your advisor tells them..and they care...I'm in parenting nad where I live they look and men funny for taking that class...its mostly about pregnancy is why I suppose...the class...will be hard for me to cope in..not beacuse of the subject but the looks i already got...

Then to top it offf...they didnt give me classes I need to graduate...wow...tears where rolling by this point...then I come in tell mom she's so worried she screams...soo.....damn....I'm so sick of life...I do horrible in the silence of my bedroom in the dark...but i do EVEN WORSE outside in the open light with all these creatures I had to be HUMAN..........!!!!!!!!!!!

I WONNA CRY
CRY
CRY
CRY
CRY
CRY
CRY
CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

PLEASE TTTTT ...E-MAIL ME BACK..*PRAYS*