I totally understand the pdoc abandonment. I had a pdoc for years. I seemed pretty stable I think I was on every fourth month an appt with him. They always called to confirm on the Friday before. No call came. So I called them and couldn't get through. I thought that was odd, so on the weekend I drove to the office. It was quite a ways. The door was locked and there was a note taped up that the dr had an emergency and had moved away. Patients were to call the office to arrange records transfer. Only I discovered the phone was truly disconnected and the office closed. That was a terrible day. I had several meds In need of almost immediate refill. I was terrified. I got my GP to refill but she said she would only do refills for a limited amount of time and never again. So I started calling. I had awful insurance through my job, so I ended up on a wait list for the public mental health system. I finally got seen there. They were extremely overburdened and I was unhappy with my very infrequent appts. Finally I decided my insurance mental health coverage was killing me. So I made plans to get a different job and go back to school. I put my name on a very long wait list for a therapist recommended pdoc. I promised them I would have acceptable insurance by appointment time. I only had to push back appt one time by a week. It was a risk but it did work for me.

All that to say, I do understand the fear of in that position. Thinking creatively worked for me. But I know that isn't always an option.

Take care of yourself.