Additional thought. Even tho it seems she loves her dad, inconsistent parenting is very harmful to a child. You gotta be tough. If he can't provide consistency, then he can't be in her life! You gotta fight for what is best for your child first. At 15 ,in many states legally,
she may have a say in the matter. Have you asked for an evaluator ( ad litem) I know I'm spelling that wrong....? They can give their opinion to the judge weighing her wishes and needs. They will also look into his life and assess whether or not they feel he is providing adequate parenting during his time with her. Be aware this could go not in the way you want! But if he is truly irresponsible and inconsistent... The assessor should be able to easily see this and encourage the courts to make him prove he can hold a steady job and provide for his daughter if he wants to see her. Double edged sword results, possibly.... If he is found inadequate, your daughter will probably be pissy at you about it and depending on her personality may even rebel against you and try to go stay with her dad, but 15 yr old girls are often pissy towards their moms anyway and most likely she will not react rashly in the second part mentioned, but if she does and if his living situation is not adequate or the court has ruled in your favor, then he has the responsibility to inform you/ return her to you immediately. If he doesn't then technically it's kidnapping and if you and or the police have to hunt her down, then it just further proves his inability to be a parent. Hopefully it doesn't ever have to get that nasty, but you cannot allow him to walk all over you, and being in and out of your daughters life is setting a male role model precedent that ingrains on a young girl psyche the building blocks to be vulnerable to future abusive relationships! Sorry I'm quite a bit drifty today.... But please from one mum to another do WHAT ever you have to to protect yourself and your daughter! She may "hate" you in the short term, but in the long run I'm sure she will thank you for your love and respect you for your strength. ... Sorry I've seem to have unloaded some of my crap onto your situation... Damn Triggers lol. I truly hope you are able to work out a balanced and amicable solution. As far as feeling like you are missing the fun with you daughter.... take every tiny moment to laugh, listen, and share with her that you can get.... In my experience, children may get all excited over large gestures, but it is the small happy moments that create lasting memories