And later my fiancé committed suicide.

My stepmom got pushed down the stairs by my dad,suffered a heart attack and went into a coma,later died.

Then I had my first manic Psycotic break. Maybe bipolar isn't the problem, but bad things happening that is too hard for the brain to process.

Then maybe all these psych meds and changes mess up the brain chemistry.

What do you think?
I want so badly to be whole again.

And intelligent. I was so smart before being exposed to continual ECT.