I'm sorry your allergies prevent you from having a pet. Furry creatures can be very comforting to have around, though they can be a lot work and expense, too. (I'ld love to have a dog, myself, but, right now, I have enough responsibility without one.)

You do sound depressed, which I know gets awfully demoralizing, when it goes on and on.

If you haven't done so, I would recommend that you go to an allergy specialist for patch tests, where they nail done exactly what you are allergic to. Then you might talk to the doctor about whether there is any possibility of working around your allergies in a way that would allow you to have a pet. (Some pets are less allergy-aggravating than others.)

I hope you feel better. Depression is sometimes called a black dog that follows one around. Not the pet you were hoping for, I know.