Quote:
Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
I think "instruct" has a didactic vibe about it that doesn't capture what happens for me in therapy. She's more like a facilitator or something. She makes sure there's a time and place, she moderates to keep things safe and focussed, she points out details and asks (usually) good questions and occasionally imparts new information but mainly she bears witness to what might otherwise be too terrifying a process.
She is like a midwife: there's this thing that you're essentially doing by yourself but it sure is nice not be all alone while doing it. It's painful and sometimes scary. It's nice to have someone to guide and reassure you. The potential for things to go wrong exists and it's safer to be with someone who recognizes the signs and knows what to do. But you don't want them just jumping in and telling you what to do, you don't want them intervening when things are unfolding as they should be, you want them to recognize that every birth is a little different.
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"Instruct" is a deliberately provocative word--I used it because it's the word that's come up in other threads and I wanted to get a sense for what it is some find so offensive about the idea. I agree it's pretty didactic--that's a really good descriptor--and I like the midwifery comparison A LOT. When push comes to shove (so to speak hahah) I think the work (labor? haha) of therapy looks like childbirth in just the way you described. I can also see the place for
instruction--honest to god didactic
instruction--in the metaphor. I wouldn't want my midwife jumping in and telling me what to do right in the thick of things, but I sure wouldn't mind being told some things I didn't know beforehand if that's what I needed to prepare myself.
My example is lame because I don't know enough about childbirth to extend the metaphor, but I wouldn't think there's anything offensive in the midwife telling me to have some sterile water and fresh towels on hand if I didn't already know that. I think it would be her place to instruct, and not just let me figure out for myself that there's going to be lots of blood and potential for infection.