Hi. I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I am sorry that you are having to endure this. I dont understand why things are the way they are. I wish I did. I wish there was a sentence or something I could say that would make everything better. But I'm not sure if that's possible. I cant help myself so I just wanna help you instead. We are going through similar feelings so I guess apart of me feels like maybe if I can help you I can help myself..idk.. Just try to work up the energy to develop at the least one handful of hope to get you just to the end of the day, then when you go to sleep tonight try to reenergize yourself as you sleep so the next day when you wake you can try once again and just get a handful of hope to get you to the end of the day again. And if you can't get a even a handful then just know that I have a whole basket full of hope for you. I believe that you can get past this time in your life and once you do you will be a better stronger person. I know how it feels to have a dry phone and no friends to talk to. I want to be your friend and be there for you so if you ever, anytime need a friend to talk to about absolutely anything, anything. Feel free to PM me - a friend